Do you find yourself not accomplishing everything you set out to do each day in the work place? Does the adage “not enough hours in the day” ring true on a regular basis? Do you constantly put the needs of others before your own? If your answer is yes to any of these questions you are likely what is commonly referred to as a “people pleaser.” Helping others is a core value and certainly an admirable one but if you’re not careful, it’s one that can be dangerous for your productivity, state of mind and physical health. If you frequently find yourself stressed and burned out at the end of the day, learning to tactfully say NO is a skill worth developing.
Make Yourself a Priority
You probably make it a habit to help others and go the extra mile. But when was the last time you made it a priority to take care of your own needs before someone else’s? In order to be at your best, you have to be in the right spot to do so. Prioritizing things like exercise, getting enough sleep and taking a day off all go a long way in helping you recharge and stay fresh.
Set Healthy Boundaries
By nature, the word “no” carries a negative connotation that most people are afraid to express. However, it has many positive benefits that not only will find you in a healthy frame of mind but being more productive as well. The first step to saying no is setting healthy boundaries and sticking to them. This simply means clearly stating your priorities and limits and communicating them to those around you. If you make this behavior a regular practice, it lets people know that you can’t be taken advantage of and they will respect you for it.
Check Your Schedule
You’re probably inundated with requests to take on more work or help with items outside the scope of what you normally do. While it’s easy to immediately say yes to helping out with something, it’s perfectly acceptable to let someone know you need to look at your schedule and will respond accordingly. If you have the time to fit something extra in great, but if you’re already committed then letting people know is reasonable as well.
What’s in it For You?
While asking the question of what potential gain you might receive in return for helping someone out might seem selfish, it’s important to consider. There are plenty of people out there that are all too ready to accept help but unwilling to return the favor in the future. Before you commit to taking on work for someone else, ask yourself the question of the likelihood of that favor being reciprocated.
Ask Someone You Trust if You’re Unsure
We are all asked to help out from time to time. If you find yourself on the fence of saying yes or no however, take the time to seek the opinion of someone you can confide in. By verbalizing your concerns, you not only gain a valuable outside opinion, but allow yourself to consider all the options more clearly. Even if you don’t take the advice, you’ll at least have more information to help you make the decision that is best for you.
Delegate
The demands of the modern workplace can be overwhelming. Trying to accomplish every task on your own can lead to burnout in the office and negatively effect your health and relationships outside of work as well. If you work on a team or within a specific department, realize that your colleagues are there to help. By delegating tasks or projects to the people around you, you not only save yourself time, but demonstrate to others that they are valuable and can be trusted. This spells good news for everyone involved.
Provide Context
One of the most critical components of saying no is providing context. If you simply tell someone no you risk coming off as aloof or not caring. But if you make it a point to honestly explain to the person requesting your help that your plate is already full and that you are willing to say yes in the future, you come across as respectful and honest.
Say Yes to the Person and No to the Task
Empathy is a sign of high emotional intelligence. If someone asks for your help and you simply don’t have the time or resources to do so, tell them that you understand the situation they are in but that you simply can’t this time around. Saying no in this manner makes it clear that you value the person in question and are willing to help in the future.
Saying no is counterintuitive for most people. However, learning to do so in a tactful manner when it makes sense goes a long way toward increasing your own productivity and well-being. If you take the steps necessary to make yourself a priority, set professional boundaries and evaluate all your options before you say yes or no, you’ll be in a position to make the best decision for yourself and those around you.
